A Fatherless Child

I see things much differently now that I am a father.  Your priorities change.  Things that seemed to be so important pale in comparison to caring for and loving your child.  As a father, I will never understand how a man can not want to take care of his child.  I know all of the excuses of baby mama drama and all but you don’t need to have a relationship with the mother to have a relationship with your child. No excuse.

My biological father was not around during my formative years, or for any of my years for that matter. I would hear from him every few years. A card and maybe $50.  Luckily I was blessed to have strong men in my family that took me in, filled the void and taught me how to be a man and a father. First was my uncle Jimmy.  When I lived in the DMV it was just my mother, my sister, and me.  My Aunt, Uncle, and little cousin lived about 10-15 minutes away.  The rest of my family was living down south.  My father was non existent during the first 10-12 years of my life. At least.  My uncle Jimmy would take me in and treat me as if I was his son.  We would go to Wizards (at that time they were the Bullets) games, Orioles games, or just spend time with each other.  He taught me how to be a man during my early years.

As I got older, my mother became ill and my sister and I ended up moving down south to stay with family.  My uncle Marion aka my Dad taught me everything about being an honest man from the age of around 10-12 to now.  He is my father and even though he’s not my biological father, he never treated my any different than as if I was his own seed.  Neither he nor my aunt treated us any different than their other children.  They loved us and made sure that my sister and I stayed together.  We could have easily been placed in the foster care system and split up.  They made sure that we stayed together and in the family.  They sacrificed plenty to make sure that we had what we needed.  I love them for that and even though I don’t show it, I really do appreciate what they did for me.

I never knew the issues between my mother and father that lead to them splitting. I was only a few months old when it happened. I never questioned my mother because growing up I learned early that everything she did was for a reason.  My dad wasn’t around enough to ask him so I never received the answer because I never asked.  No matter what the reason, I don’t believe my mother would have ever denied him the opportunity to be a father to his children.

Being a father is one of the greatest gifts that a man can be given and give to a child.  Even if it is not by blood, being a father figure to a fatherless child can make a big difference in that child and father’s life.