Black Vs White We Off That – Relationship Edition

*Clearing my throat as I step up onto my soapbox and tap the Microphone… Tap Tap Tap…* Ahem, excus.. Is this on? Excuse me? Can you guys hear me in the back? Sound cool? Cool ’cause I have something to say and I need all yall to hear it.”
Last night I was responding to a status update on twitter about interracial dating. I won’t get into all the details but one of the comments that this one girl left said and I quote

“i have a problem with black men who date white women bc they feel as tho they dont want to deal with black women, like their mommas or sisters arent black. that is what pisses me off. Now when black women go to white men, thats because we have exhausted all of our possibilities. which is why im lookin for a chad tatum..looll..and what gets me is when they are with their girls and lookin @ me..no baby dont look over here..u like white girls..”
Now you know I had to respond back with this
“it might not have anything to do with your race. I’m just sayin’… interracial dating is fine with me as well. Its a preference. I do find it funny that if a black man dates a white woman then something’s wrong or he thinks less of black women but when a black woman dates a white man it’s because she’s “exhausted all of our possibilities’”? C’Mon son GTFOHWTBS!! for real! That’s the same as saying black women date white men b/c they don’t want to deal with black men. Same thing! Who you choose to date or not date is a preference and everyone has a right to choose who they want to date as well as not date. The whole black vs white, we off that!”

Of course she quipped back with some more nonsense but my father always told me to never argue with fools because people can’t tell from afar who’s who.  This conversation got me thinking and you know when I think only bad things can come of it! Anyway, obviously this young lady was raised to think that she can only date black men and that something is wrong with dating outside one’s own race.  I think when we teach our kids that they can’t date or something is wrong with dating a person of a certain race or religion we are doing them a major disservice.
Growing up I was never told whom I could or couldn’t date. I was always told to date whoever made me happy whether they were Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Jewish, Muslim, Christian or whatever. It doesn’t matter. I have learned so much by dating and being around people other than what it looked like at my home than I can think of.  Look, there’s nothing wrong with being proud of your race or religion and wanting to stick to that. If that’s your thing then run with it but just know that you are missing out on an entire world of possibilities.  You can learn so much about yourself just from learning about another culture.  I was raised Christian but I have also read the Quran, and thumbed through the Torah with a few of my Jewish friends.  There’s nothing wrong with being open to other religions and cultures.
Now what really had me a little upset with this young lady’s comment was that she feels that the majority of black men that date white women do so because they don’t want to deal with black men (which is very untrue and just a myth that keeps circulating by people like her) yet she feels that black women date white men because they have exhausted all of their possibilities.  That’s the same thing!! She just re-worded it to make it sound good in her favor. Exhausted all of their possibilities? Really? Sounds like those black women don’t want to deal with black men to me. I’m just saying though. Oh and she’s looking for her Chad Tatum,  I assume she meant Channing Tatum.  Foolishness. To limit ourselves is only damning ourselves.  Think about it.

People at times get too hung up on tradition. I do believe traditions are useful and some should be continued and passed on from generation to generation, but only the ones with purpose.  Some traditions were born out of necessity and should be retired. For example, when I was moving out on my own my mom gave me some recipes.  In them I notices that it always said stir with a wooden spoon.  When I asked her  why they all said use a wooden spoon she said that she wasn’t sure and that she got the recipes from my grandmother who got it from her mother.  I then asked my grandmother why I needed to stir all my food with a wooden spoon and she said that I didn’t have to.  When I told her that I saw her and my mom always using one and it was in the recipe book she made me she just laughed.  She was laughing because the only reason why my great grandmother used a wooden spoon was because that was the only spoon she had! That became a tradition that was passed down for 3 generations or more that was initially born out of necessity that could be retired.
I’m not sure about this young lady’s case but maybe the women in her family dated black men out of necessity and it became a tradition. That tradition was probably started back when it was illegal or literally life threatening to date outside of your race and that was passed on from one generation to the next of how it is supposed to be.  Nowadays that is not the case and that tradition should be retired.  Now the tradition of teaching cultural open mindedness was passed on to me and it shall be passed on to Boogie as he passes it on to his child and so on and so forth.
Stupidity is a tradition that was not born out of necessity but has been passed down from generation to generation and it needs to be retired.  To learn is to grow.

Thanks for your time.
*Drops mic, kicks mic stand then steps down off soapbox and walks off*