It Takes Two

Okay so a friend hit me up on facebook talking about how her child’s father doesn’t do anything for the child and how trifling he is.  Okay this is not a new occurrence.  As I probe more she tells me that he has 4 other kids by 3 different women and he doesn’t take care of any of them.  me being me, I ask her if she knew about this before she got with him?  She quickly answered yes.  So of course my next question was, if he’s not taking care of the 4 he had before why would you even get into any type of relations with this dude?  I mean am I missing something? If you know he doesn’t take care of his other kids then why would you think he’s going to take care of one more from you? Foolishness.

I just don’t get it. Then once she has a baby with him and he doesn’t do anything to support the child she decides to dog him on facebook via status updates.  I’ll never understand why people put all their business in the status updates and on twitter anyway, but that’s a different post.  whenever I see someone do this I call them on it.  You knew he or she was trifling before you laid down with them all those times but now that you have a child and you see that he’s not doing anything you want to dog him.  I am in no way condoning the guys’ behavior but c’mon son! That’s like you buy a car knowing it has a bad engine then get mad at the person who sold it when it breaks down.  You knew going in that if you got pregnant that it wouldn’t end well!  Get over yourself and move on.

This is not about those guys that changed once the woman gets pregnant.  I know there are plenty of guys that have done that.  This is about the ones that are no good to start with yet women continue to be with them.  They pass up a good guy that will treat them with respect to be with the jerk that treats them like crap.  I guess good guys do finish last. I think women are attracted to that bad boy image. I see it all the time.  Women that have this long list of what she wants in a man, ya know like nice, respectful, neat blah blah.  So you’re thinking okay she wants a good guy bu then when you see her date or boyfriend he’s the total opposite of what she says she wants.  This was so frustrating to me growing up.  I was always taught to treat women with respect so that’s what I did but for a little while when that wasn’t working I went into the bad boy ish phase and treated girls like objects as opposed to the young women that they were.  Funny thing is, I ended up being with more girls as a bad boy pseudo thug then by being a gentleman.  I know this is going in a different direction but it will all come back full circle.  See these same women that are dogging the thug because he got her pregnant with his 5th or 6th child, that he has no intentions of taking care of, are the same women that have this long list of things they want in a man.  Ya know, treats them nice, takes care of them, neat, respectful?

All I can say is that it takes two people to have a baby, and yes he is not doing his part to help raise the child, you were aware of this before you even got serious enough to sleep with him.  Yet you did it anyway, now you want to put all the blame on him.  Is that fair?  No. Is he being fair to you by not taking care of his seed? No.

The bottom line is, people need to be more careful about who they decide to lay down with.  Especially if you know their past history of neglecting their children. We really need to wise up and realize that this doesn’t do anything but hurt the child.  I don’t care what anybody says or how ‘independent’ the woman is a child needs both a mother and a father. A boy needs to learn certain things from a man and a girl needs to learn certain things from a woman.  If I had a daughter and no wife or woman in her life then when she started to have her period, for example, I wouldn’t be nearly as knowledgeable about it as my wife or the woman in my life would be.  I could read a million books but that woman could give her first hand knowledge.  If a boy grows up with his mother and no father or male figure, he is missing out on certain things as well.   I do believe single parents can raise happy, well rounded, adjusted children into successful adults but with that extra male or female figure it makes it a little easier.

Take from this what you may but remember that it takes two to tango and if you knew he wasn’t worth a damn from the jump then you should have kept your legs closed. Period. End of discussion.  Now your child(ren) has to suffer because of your of indiscretions.  Child please.

Peace

Sincere