Good Black Men Do Exist
I constantly hear that there are no good black men left and how the ones left are either gay, married or in jail. Well, I just gotta say that I don’t think that’s true. Maybe it’s just the dudes that you’re wanting are gay, married or in jail. That doesn’t mean the ones that you need are in that situation. Why is it that black men are always the ones that seem to be the problem? I believe that there are plenty of eligible black men out there if you look in the right places. The constant put downs that ‘black men aren’t this’ and ‘black men aren’t that’ really irks me. I am not in that situation since I already have my queen but I still feel the need to address the situation.
How come black men seem to be the only race that is “trifling”? So white men don’t leave their wives or have children out of wedlock? What makes you think that just because you’re successful that we are intimidated of you? Maybe it’s the attitude that turns us away not the success. Truth be told, we love to see a successful black woman doing her thing! That is applauded behavior that any black man would love to be attached to. There are plenty of examples that I’ve heard. Too many to go through but I know that you’ve heard them as well.
Since I’m in Atlanta and there is a large number of gay black men here I can sometimes forgive this lame excuse. For the most part though I’m not buying it. Yes there are a lot of gay black men here but there are also good straight men as well. Maybe you’re not looking in the right spots. I doubt you’ll find them at the club doing the stanky leg. Like anything, it’s about the company you keep. If you’re looking in the gutter you’ll find rats and garbage. The better the search the better the result. You might want to step your google game up.
I just get tired of hearing this same excuse over and over. Maybe it’s not us black men, maybe it’s dare I say, you black women. I mean everybody wants that baller or shot caller but are you baller or shot caller material? Bosses hang with bosses. You’re not gonna see the CEO going out to lunch with the janitor. Not that it’s anything wrong with that but you get my drift. “You are who you associate yourself with”. To be the best you must be with the best.
If every relationship you’ve had with a black man was horrible, was it really bad or was it preconceived to go badly? did you come into the relationship with this “black men ain’t shit” mentality or did it just not work out? Every relationship isn’t going to be a home run. If a black man isn’t your thing try another race, why are we limited to just one race anyway? I’ve dated just about every race except white, and that’s because I just didn’t find one at the time that I was attracted to. You severely limit yourself if you stick to something that you have already convinced yourself isn’t going to work for whatever reason.Why do we (as in black men) have to suffer because of what someone else did?
I guess what I’m trying to say is before you go bashing ALL black men, you should reexamine yourself and what it is you really need as opposed to want. Stop with the bashing. it’s not a good look. You don’t hear white women bashing their men or any other race for that matter. why do we have to do it? that’s so lame.
Are You for Real?, Blogging While Black, Words of Wisdom | Sincere March 23, 2009
7 Comments to “Good Black Men Do Exist”
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By konartiz, April 2, 2009 @ 9:27 AM
I think black women get shitted on far more than black guys.
And its mainly by black guys.
Black women get treated like they are inferior.
But I think if you are trying to enlighten folks you shouldn’t be one sided.
Instead of placing blame and pointing the finger at the black women it(the blame) should be equally distributed.
Because placing blame definitely won’t solve any problems whatsoever.
Seeing that both parties are at fault and are far from flawless.
Black dudes are far from innocent.
But for some reason they seem to believe the blame falls only on the women.
Which is sad. But common.
I think both black women and guys should stop with the hate and finger pointing.
Because it doesn’t solve anything, it just starts drama.
Which neither party needs.
And the stereotypes should stop also.
By Sincere, April 2, 2009 @ 9:56 AM
What up Konartiz;
Thanks for stopping through. I never said that Black men were totally innocent and that we do nothing wrong. I don’t believe when it comes to relationships, which is what I was talking about, that black women get shitted on more than men. Not in the situation that I was referring to. Black women don’t get ridiculed for dating outside their race nearly as much as it is with black men. I don’t think that black men see black women as inferior. I think we look at our women as superior to others, As I said in the post. I’m not finger pointing but just stating the facts. I hear this constantly from women around here talk about how good black men don’t exist all the time, but rarely hear that good black women don’t exist. I am not putting the blame on the women, if you got that impression you may need to reread it. I am just stating that just because they,as in women, pick bad guys to be with doesn’t mean that they all are. They, as in women, may need to reevaluate what they are looking for in a mate and find that. Not just whatever is convenient. That goes for the guys as well. But I was mainly writing this from what I see as a guy and letting them know how I feel when they say these things like “Black men ain’t shit”. I agree that the hate and finger pointing should stop. I actually said that in my post as well. I don’t think I’m stereotyping all black women when I wrote this, but only a hit dog yells… I believe that some black women do stereotype black guys because of past relationships though.
By konartiz, April 15, 2009 @ 6:43 AM
“only a hit dog yells”
….right
So since I don’t quite feel the same way you do, I obviously have to be one of the blk women your speaking on???
Right
As far as that other stuff about you think blk guys think black women are superior to others…
I don’t know where they do that at or where you live.
But that doesn’t hold true.
By Sincere, April 15, 2009 @ 7:29 AM
Konartiz;
Actually I wasn’t referring to you as one of the black women that I was speaking of. I have no idea about your situation. All I know is that you are feeling some kind of way about black men. This is just my opinion on a situation that I heard. The situation was two black women downing men. You act as if black women don’t judge or down black men. that was the point of this post. Not to down black women but if they are going to throw the blame on us then maybe they need to look in the mirror first.
By Sincere, April 15, 2009 @ 7:31 AM
Konartiz
Oh yeah. Loke I said in the post. I live in Atlanta and there are plenty of guys, not just here but all over, that think black women are superior to others. Maybe it’s just the black men that you know or around. which goes right back to what I’m saying of not lumping us all together just because of your past situations.
By Derrick Braziel, May 4, 2009 @ 8:43 PM
Sincere, there are a lot of good black men that exist, and I appreciate that you were able to assess the situation from both perspectives. I think one reason you might want to look at for a foundation of the deterioration of good black men is the lack of good black role models. If you look at it, only Obama comes to mind when you think of a black male in leadership that is respectable in the way he treats and loves his women (Michelle,Sasha and Malia.) The other role models are rappers that degrade women and athletes in which women are perceived as numbers more than as actual people. I’m glad I stumbled along this blog, Best Wishes
By Sincere, May 4, 2009 @ 9:46 PM
Hey Derrick;
Thanks for stopping through. I’m glad I’m not the only one that thinks we still exist. I too like your blog! especially the piece ‘The soul of black folk’. Not only is it well written but you quoted 2 of my favorite people. W.E.B. Dubois and Wale (shouts to Northeast D.C.!)
Again thanks for stopping through and don’t be a stranger!